Austin-based theater chain Alamo Drafthouse Cinema has a notoriously strict prohibition on talking or texting during movies, removing without mercy any patron who violates the rule. In the past, they've gotten visiting celebrities like James Franco and Jason Schwartzman to record hyperbolic PSAs detailing the terrible fates of those who violate the sanctity of the sacred space. The theater recently posted one from director Richard Linklater, who proposes a simple, one-time solution to the texting problem: Murder.
The director of Boyhood and the beloved Before series explains, in his soft Texan drawl, the best way to deal with people who text during a film: Grab a straw or pencil, center it on your palm, and slam it through their skull and into their brain. “You have my permission to do that,” the School Of Rock director deadpans, before on-screen text asks viewers, “Please don’t sue Richard Linklater.” Given that he also claims in the video to be a former paid hitman, that seems like good advice.