Now that Kanye West is too busy aspiring to be the Mark Twain of Twitter, it’s been a while since we’ve had a good “celebrity beats up a photographer” story, so here’s one about American Idol-spawned glamosaur Adam Lambert getting into a beachfront beat down with some guy who had the audacity to take pictures of him in his grandmother’s gardening hat. The photographer claims that Lambert wrestled him to the ground; unfortunately one of his fellow paparazzi captured the whole thing, and as you can see, that’s simply not true. As these photos from Splash News Online reveal, Lambert mostly just gave him some sort of grabby, bear-hug reacharound before his friend pulled him away. Nevertheless, Lambert has been accused of battery and the state’s attorney is currently considering whether charges will be filed against him. “If they are, start with that shirt!” is what I would say if I were Charles Nelson Reilly.