Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Do not rap about Lindsay Lohan or she will sue you

Courtroom specter Lindsay Lohan continues to haunt the halls of justice, most recently filing a lawsuit against rapper Pitbull and co-songwriters Ne-Yo and Afrojack, seeking unspecified damages for characterizing her as a person who has been to jail, when she is, in fact, a professional actress, designer, and devotee of charitable causes. Lohan’s lawsuit stems from a line in the single “Give Me Everything,” which contains the couplet, “Hustlers move aside, so I’m tiptoein’, to keep flowin’ / I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan.” In addition to challenging the notion that tiptoeing has any discernible effect on one’s rhyming skills, Lohan’s representatives say the lyrics are clearly “destined to do irreparable harm” to Lohan’s reputation, which was impeccable until this.

Naturally, the situation is reminiscent of the time Lohan waged war against E-Trade for implying that she was an alcoholic, which she combated by hitting them with a very public lawsuit to remind everyone that she was an alcoholic. Though she wasn’t awarded the full $100 million she sought there, she did receive a “confidential” settlement out of court. More importantly, she got the respect that comes with being—according to how she’s defined in her current lawsuit—“a professional actor of good repute and standing,” all of which has been ruined now, all thanks to someone frivolously trying to exploit another person's work for a quick and desperate buck.


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