If you are reading this in the upstate New York area, please do local authorities a huge solid and keep your eyes peeled for this fucking goose, which has an arrow stuck through its neck:
Yes, this wily-ass Canada goose is walking around not giving a hoot about the fact that a wooden implement of death roughly the length of its entire body is sticking out of its neck at a perpendicular angle. Hardass Goose is “the talk of the town,” according to one interviewee in the local ABC affiliate’s news story, and this makes sense, because that goose is hard as a coffin nail. If you live near Hardass Goose it is only respectful to talk about Hardass Goose in a hushed whisper, lest Hardass Goose hear you and decide to do something about it. While it is certainly impressive that Hardass Goose took an arrow to the neck and lived to tell the tale, it is perhaps more incredible that no one can catch the bad motherfucker. It would rather keep the arrow in its neck than suffer more human intervention. It would rather learn anew to walk, balancing the weight of a fucking arrow through its neck, than let some human come and try to take the arrow out. Hardass Goose wants you to know that it doesn’t mind the arrow.
Amherst, New York authorities are going to have their hands full with this one.