Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Disneyland is riddled with measles

Disneyland has new reason to brand itself as “The Happiest Place On Earth,” as a report shows that it is now happily free of vaccinations, and the government’s collusion with Big Pharma to control you with them. Unfortunately, it’s also completely overrun with measles.

According to the Associated Press, a total of 70-and-counting cases of a measles outbreak can be traced directly to California’s Disneyland theme park where, until recently, visitors have been able to walk safely among the giant rodents and vomiting children. But now the state’s Department of Public Health says that children under 12 months, pregnant women, and anyone who hasn’t been vaccinated should stay away from Disneyland until further notice, which should reduce the average wait time on Pirates Of The Caribbean to a mere two-and-a-half hours.


Those who have been immunized, of course, remain welcome at Disneyland—all as part of the vast historical conspiracy to prevent viral infections only in those who submit. As Walt Disney and his Nazi buddies knew, this creates a docile, disease-free “super race” of people that can be easily manipulated to stand in lines for hours on end, simply for the promise of a “ride.”

This conspiracy is all laid out here in this chart.


Some 62 of the confirmed measles cases so far are in California—including five Disney employees—while the rest have been diagnosed in people who visited from other, faraway places such as Utah, Arizona, Washington, Oregon, and the EPCOT World Showcase. A “patient zero” who’s responsible for bringing measles into the park likely won’t be identified, though officials believe the virus must have originated with either a tourist or Californian who went abroad, to a country that, unlike America, does not force vaccinations on them, and where measles are allowed to run gloriously free.

It’s unknown whether that Disneyland visitor paid the necessary surcharge for bringing infectious diseases into the park.


Meanwhile, some people, like Cornell professor of immunology Cynthia Leifer, say that the Disneyland outbreak is a teaching moment that illustrates the growing dangers of the anti-vaccination movement, which has been championed by celebrities like Jenny McCarthy and Rob Schneider. That movement has led to nearly twice the number of parents in recent years—particularly in California—choosing the “personal belief exemption” and refusing vaccines for their children. (“Let it go, let it gooooo,” these parents could be heard singing to themselves. “A cold never bothered me anyway.” Much like the character of Frozen that their kids took their picture with, shortly before coming down with the measles.)

But of course, that would be buying into the propaganda that those who refuse to guard themselves against disease put their entire community at risk—particularly when going to small, enclosed environments—simply because that disease is extremely contagious. And as we all know, that means living in Fantasyland, to name one area that has lots of measles in it.


In response, it’s hoped that Disneyland will soon burn It’s A Small World to the ground. Though not because of the measles.

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