While Disney continuously works to swallow up every facet of modern pop culture like a ravenous cartoon whale, it’s neglected many of its own classics in the process. Sure, Disney+ may have some of its deep cuts already available, but it will always remain an incomplete representation of the company’s history until it adds VD Attack Plan, an animated short from 1973 that explains (presumably to children) how venereal disease spreads.
After the sound of bombs and gunfire introduce the PSA, its narrator introduces us to the hated venereal disease. “This is a war story,” he says. “It could be anywhere in the world. It could involve anyone. It could only take place within the human body.” We’re then shown VD itself, depicted here as a chattering army of slug creatures with bad teeth and evil intentions. One “attack force” sets out to infect people with syphilis and the other with gonorrhea. The VD commander, who wears a spiked helmet, explains that their invasion will be helped along by other cartoon monsters: “Ignorance,” “Fear,” and “Shame.”
There’s some questionable language about the various “colors” humans come in, then a breakdown (with silhouettes where green and red targets sit on the diagrammed genitals) of how VD can get into its targets. At one point, the VD commander eats a bunch of birth control pills, calling them “delicious.” At another, we get some memorable images of visible STI symptoms. The commander loves this shit, happily describing the rashes and growths over medical photos showing exactly what they look like.
Why this cartoon hasn’t been added to Disney+ yet is a mystery. Maybe the company’s holding VD Attack Plan back for a reason. Maybe it’s currently in the planning stages of a live-action remake of this beloved cartoon or a Marvel/Star Wars crossover special where Chewbacca and Captain America illustrate condom use and the importance of STI tests. Hey, Paul Bettany said the Marvel Cinematic Universe is only going to get “more and more bonkers” in the future so you never know.
[via Boing Boing]
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org