Okay everyone, when we started haranguing you about Decider last August when Chicago launched, little did you know it was the first of many such messages about Onion Inc.'s evil schemes. Well, here's the last one, at least for now: The last two pieces of the Decider puzzle, Washington, D.C., and the San Francisco, launch today. So bureaucrats and hippie gays now have sites to call their own!

City editor Marc Hawthorne (best known for his role as Random Guy In Crowd in Milk) will lead the charge in San Francisco, and Matthew Borlik (best known as the D.C. punk scene's premier hockey goon) will do the same in the District. They'll steward the sites' mix of locally oriented features about music, food, comedy, theater, city life, and more. Take what we've been doing in our print editions for years, then add way more, and that's what Decider does. As a reminder, your A.V. Club logins will work over there, too.

Also, don't forget we're in New York, Los Angeles, Austin, Milwaukee, Denver/Boulder, Minneapolis/St. Paul, and Madison. (That's Wisconsin for those of you not up on your geography/Onion history.) Hooray!