Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

David Schwimmer did not steal any beer, unfortunately

Photo: Blackpool Police and Jeff Schear (Getty Images

Sure, Feed The Beast wasn’t so hot and his Robert Kardashian was kind of silly, but David Schwimmer’s doing okay, yeah? There was cause to wonder on Tuesday when police in Blackpool, England shared a surveillance photo of a beer thief who looked a helluva lot like the Friends star.

“Do you recognize this man?” they asked in a Facebook post. Yes. Yes, we did. And the Friends quotes—139,197, to be exact—followed in quick succession.


Alas, our collective hopes of seeing Ross Gellar busted for stealing beer in a northern England town have been dashed. “Thank you to everyone for your speedy responses,” the Blackpool police announced. “We have investigated this matter thoroughly and have confirmed that David Schwimmer was in America on this date.”

Today, Schwimmer himself took to Twitter to assert his innocence. Using the hashtag #itwasntme, he wrote, “Officers, I swear it wasn’t me. As you can see, I was in New York. To the hardworking Blackpool Police, good luck with the investigation.” Accompanying it is a video of Schwimmer fleeing a grocery store, a busted-ass bundle of beers in his arms. Hardy-har, Schwim.


As of now, the culprit remains at large, and we’re not the only ones looking in Russ’s direction.

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About the author

Randall Colburn

Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.