Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

It’s picture day at Belle Reve Penitentiary, and everyone in Task Force X—better known as The Suicide Squad—is looking their best. Deadshot has shined his head, Captain Boomerang has put on his best duct-taped pants, and Harley Quinn has torn her clothes in a way that’s just edgy enough to get attention without being completely naked.

“Squeeze together a little more. Pretend you like each other!” The photographer calls out with a smile.


Harley Quinn laughs and gives her best “look how wacky I am” pose. Killer Croc, unaware of how humans are supposed to act, does the same pose. Enchantress, not wanting to look like “boring one,” also does the same pose. The guy on the end who looks like he’s from The Warriors—and is probably named El Diablo—puffs out his chest and straightens his arms for some reason.

“This will make me look scary,” he thinks. “I want to be the scary one.”

On the other side of the photo, the guy with all of the ropes worries that people will think that ropes are his gimmick. It’s bad enough that he has to stand next to Captain Boomerang, the guy that’s all gimmick. He doesn’t want to be known as Doctor Ropes, or something stupid like that.


Meanwhile, Katana shifts her weight from one knee to the other. She’s been posing like this for a long time, and it’s getting pretty uncomfortable. Plus, she accidentally bumped Rick Flagg in the leg and he’s pissed. Now her hair is covering part of her mask, and she knows she’ll bump him again if she tries to fix it.

“Alright, is everyone ready?” The photographer asks as he prepares to take the photo.


“Wait, no.” Flagg shouts. “Where’s the Joker? Where’s Amanda Waller? Where are the characters that Ike Barinholtz and Jim Parrack are playing?”

“We don’t need them, boss,” Deadshot chimes in. “Look how cool I am. Is it weird that I’m the most famous actor here, and also I’m the one who looks the coolest? I mean come on, this guy on my left looks like a high school zombie.”

El Diablo ignores the jokes. He knows that he’s the scary one. All he has to do is hold this pose and never move his arms. “It’ll be worth it,” he thinks. “Everyone will remember me as the scary one.”

“All set?” The photographer asks as he makes some final adjustments. “Three, two, one…”


From left to right: Adam Beach as Doctor Ropes (not really), Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang, Karen Fukuhara (we assume) as Katana (we assume), Cara Delevingne as the Enchantress, Joel Kinnaman as Rick Flagg, Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, Will Smith as Deadshot, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Killer Croc, and Jay Hernandez as El Diablo (probably).


And here’s a bonus picture of Will Smith’s Deadshot:


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