Really quite rich person Dane Cook has finally settled on the comedy pilot that NBC hoped to develop with him, because Dane Cook is famous and rich. Also, because building sitcoms around single-cell personality comedians such as Whitney Cummings and Chelsea Handler gives the network marketing department a much-needed break from finding the fleeting moments of slapstick that might sell an episode of Parks And Recreation. No doubt Cook’s Next Caller Please—the previously reported script about an “alpha male” satellite radio personality who gets on the nerves of his new feminist, NPR-bred co-host played by Colette Wolfe—will be far easier to promote, given Cook’s recognizable, inherent alpha male-ness as a man of means and female admirers he finds sort of pathetic.

Plus, there's the comforting familiarity of his bickering tension that inevitably blossoms into will-they-or-won’t-they? affection with Wolfe, a tried-and-true premise that’s lingered since the early days of Greek drama, when Aeschylus first wrote Agamemnon And His Sassy New Secretary, Diane. Cook will continue that proud theatrical tradition by playing just the latest in a long line of smarmy narcissists with misogynist streaks who believe they’re much more funny and charming than they actually are, and who receives a disproportionate amount of leeway than he really deserves thanks to his looks, his mass appeal to an audience’s baser instincts, and the defense that he's just doing his thing. For this, Cook will use acting.