The thing that you get when you go to a Jason Statham movie, first and foremost, is reliability. Dip into a Blitz or a Safe or a Parker, and you know what’ll be on offer: Jason Statham scowling at people. Jason Statham occasionally making a sarcastic little quip. And most especially, Jason Statham pointing a gun at people (or, occasionally, a shark).
We’re not talking shit here, either; Statham’s a totally reliable screen presence, a charmingly violent baseline who, above all, seems very comfortable with the holding of guns and the pointing at people that such an act might then demand. Hence our amusement at this impromptu Twitter quiz thrown together by ScreenCrush’s Matt Singer, who asked a simple question: Can you tell the difference between a wide variety of Jason Stathams pointing a wide variety of guns at a (presumably) wide variety of unseen people?
Obviously, Statham’s gun-wielding oeuvre contains multitudes: Sometimes he wears a suit! Sometimes it is a more casual gun-pointing-at-people day at the office. (Who even knows what that collar is going to be up to.) Often The Gun (his celebrated co-star) is in Statham’s right hand, but every now and again it shakes things up a bit and pops up in his left.
Sometimes, he moonlights with his other friend, The Car. (The Transporter films are a big showcase for this fruitful partnership.) Sometimes, he just walks around on his own, waiting for an explosion to happen behind him.
Through it all, Statham relies almost entirely on his stubble (both top of head and bottom of chin) to do all the wimpy emotional acting stuff for him, leaving his face on autopilot and the rest of his body free for the more important work with either Gun or Car. (Or sometimes both. Kinky!)
Think you have your Statham-spotting skills on lockdown? Singer’s even put together a little slideshow to test your Jason mettle, allowing you to see if you truly know your Mechanics from your Cranks. If you score above, like, a 2 on it, you’ve probably watched too many goddamn Jason Statham movies.