Bolstered by its estimable legacy, the fact that it's summer and there's not much else on, and the intrigue of octogenarian shower scenes, TNT's Dallas: Southfork Nights debuted to relatively big ratings, drawing 6.9 million viewers across both parts of its premiere. Of course, despite the promise of the Jesse Metcalfe that kids crave, most of that audience skewed decidedly older—old enough even to remember the original Dallas, probably, considering most of them were in the demographically undesirable 55-and-over crowd. And thus, advertisers were probably all like, "WELL, WHAT'S THE POINT? WE MIGHT AS WELL BE RUNNING COMMERCIALS FOR TAB AND RACISM." Nevertheless, it was still enough to make Dallas the year's highest-rated scripted series premiere on cable so far, even besting the recent return of Rizzoli And Isles. That's right: It's pulling those fat Rizzoli And Isles numbers. You've been out-Rizzoli And Isle-d, Rizzoli And Isles.