After roughly 4500 years of toiling in the absence of any truly great cultural milestones—i.e., a ripping bass solo courtesy of Flea, or a recreation of whatever the fuck it is that’s going on in the “Californication” video—the so-called “Great” pyramid of Giza is finally getting ready to live up to itshype. Rolling Stone reports that we’ll soon be in for a big day for dusty old monuments everywhere, as the Red Hot Chili Peppers gear up to play a concert in the shadow of the millennia-old relic. (History is painfully mute on how the pharaoh Khufu, who commissioned the ancient structure, might have felt about the performance, but a series of hieroglyphics found in his tomb depicting a quarter of shirtless men slamming gleefully into each other while screaming suggests he probably would have approved.)
You won’t have to take our word for it, though; the band will be streaming the concert—which begins at 3 p.m. Eastern on Friday—on social media, ensuring that millions of people will be able to watch history finally come to Egypt at last.
Flea issued a statement about the show, one we feel somewhat hesitant to print without giving a brief disclaimer stating that this is not a goof we made up to make him sound insane: “Before each new place my body tingled with excitement, a yearning for a new mystery to unfold, a fascination with a new culture, the possibility of new friends, tasting new food, smelling new tastes, absorbing new rhythms,” Flea said, with the gleeful energy of a teenage bride with a baby inside, getting high on information. “Learning. Learning. Learning. It is happening right now, my heart is abuzz with joy at the prospect of performing in Egypt. I’m so grateful and humbled for the experience.”