Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Conan slaps overly concerned Sonic fans with aggressively bouncing hedgehog wang

Yesterday the world was introduced to the new (and, pretty inarguably, improved) version of Sonic The Hedgehog, set to debut in theaters in February of next year. Responding to fan complaints, this version of the infamously speedy video game hedgehog has been significantly redesigned to look more like his original digital incarnation, and less like someone asked a team of animators to create a human-Sonic hybrid, complete with teeth where teeth were not, per design notes issued forth from God, probably meant to be.

But while the design is objectively better, the fan backlash against the original version of Sonic (which also caused the movie to be delayed) has raised some questions about the amount of control fans should have over the properties they love (or, if we’re being honest, “love”). It’s an argument that Conan O’Brien waded into last night with a healthy heaping handful of hedgehog hog in tow.


The above clip is actually pretty harsh toward fans who didn’t like the original design, with “Sonic” ultimately labeling them “time-wasting trolls” betwixt his dick-slapping bouts of jumping jacks. Which isn’t wholly surprising, given that O’Brien has a regular segment that’s mostly about mocking video games and their various, oh-so-passionate fans. Really, though, the biggest disappointment about the entire piece is one of casting; we doubt Paramount would have been psyched about Sonic star Ben Schwartz hopping into a heavily-becocked Sonic costume in order to tell the character’s fans to go fuck themselves on TBS, but given his numerous appearances on the show, we can’t help but think about what might have been.

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