Hey theeeerrrrre, ladies and germs! You’ve got your dial turned to AVClub.comFM and you’re listening to Newswire Ned In The Mornings with me, Newswire Ned, and my idiot sidekick, Other Newswire Ned. [Pew! Pew! Awoooga!] Later in the show we’ll be talking to a famous porn star about local government and then there’ll be another installment in our long-running series, “Crank-Calling Other Newswire Ned’s Mom,” but first we’re talkin’ ’bout the news. Cue the “Talkin’ ’Bout The News” theme song!

[Insert blaringly obnoxious eight-second music clip, ending with fart sound effect]


Yeah, so did you hear about this? Apparently, Comedy Central is planning to horn in on our territory with its own hilarious radio show on SiriusXM. The show will be titled The Big Bonfire With Big Jay Oakerson And Dan Soder, and it’ll air every Monday and Wednesday on the network’s official SiriusXM radio station starting today. Every Monday and Wednesday? That sounds like Other Newswire Ned’s Mom! [Honk! Honk! Awoooga!]

Variety says that Oakerson and Soder—who are both comedians—will “talk about everything from comedy and entertainment to sports,” and they’ll also be “sharing their funniest stories from the road.” Hey, funny stories from the road? I bet Other Newswire Ned’s mom has a few of those, ifyouknowwhatImean! [Pew! Pew! Honk!] It also says here that Oakerson and Soder will each be getting their own hour-long special on Comedy Central—the TV network—which will air at some point next year. Hey, speaking of airing next year, it smells like farts in this studio! [Fart noise! Honk!] Alright, that’s it for the news.

[Even more obnoxious music clip, played over Borat saying “My wife!” repeatedly]

Coming up after this break we’re gonna say some bad words so overly concerned parents will complain about us, then weather and traffic here on AVClub.comFM. [Pew! Pew! Honk! Awoooga! Fart noise!]