Comedy Central is getting into the business of books, which are those things that sometimes hit people in the balls on Tosh.0. After years of standing idly by while The Daily Show and The Colbert Report generated massive profits with their own tomes and refused to share them, the network plans to launch its Running Press publishing imprint—which will encompass “everything from memoirs to joke and novelty books,” thus covering all the viable bases of modern literature that don’t involve monsters—with an as-yet-untitled holiday novelty book from Denis Leary, based on his 2005 special Merry F#%$in' Christmas, in which Leary scathingly mocked the entire Christian faith and led the nation down its current sinkhole of godless secularism.
“I am truly delighted to be in business with Running Press and deliver a funny Christmas book based on a special I did for Comedy Central seven-and-a-half years ago,” Leary said in an actual, tongue-in-cheek statement that acknowledged the network’s impeccable sense of timing. He also added, “Sorry for the delay but I was a tad busy with Rescue Me, two teenaged kids, two Red Sox World Series victories, the 17th Boston Celtic NBA championship, the Bruins winning the Stanley Cup and online porn. Mostly the porn.” Don’t forget implying that people are pussies for not buying trucks, Denis Leary.