Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled Comedian gets Trump goon Corey Lewandowski to celebrate childs poopies
Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)

Trump goons are a dime a dozen these days, and they’re desperate for those dimes. This, incidentally, makes it difficult to figure out which kind of MAGA chud is shittier—the true believers, or the nihilists in it for the grift. That’s something to ponder as we watch this video of Corey Lewandowski, Trump’s former campaign manager, getting paid to encourage a (nonexistent) child with their toilet training.

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Last week, Boston-based comedian Dicky Stock shared a customized toilet-training video from Lewandowski, who accepted this incredibly apropos gig for a measly $50 via celeb shoutout app Cameo.

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“I pretended to be a father toilet training his son so Trump’s campaign manager Corey Lewandowski would give advice about poo poo going in the toilet and the moron did it,” Stock tweeted. “So, I feel bad that I gave him $50 but I’m glad he looks like a moron talking about poo poo.”

Stock has a point about forking over cash to someone like Lewandowski, but it also begs the question—if Lewandowski will talk about a stranger’s child’s shit for fifty dollars, just what is he willing to say if given even more money?

For now, at least, let us bask in hearing Lewandowski say, “I hear you’re starting to use the big boy toilet...Great job with your poopies!” before thanking this “future Trump supporter” who, we’d like to remind everyone, does not exist.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).

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