When future generations look back at the ultra-wealthy tech moguls who have destroyed their world—if they’re able to look back at all with their necks frozen in place by the plasma-slurping carotid extractor braces they’ll be legally obligated to wear as part of a communal sacrifice of life-giving juices that ensures Divine Emperor Bezos’ immortality—they’ll probably wonder how a collection of monomaniacal weenies managed to amass so much power in the first place.
Exhibit A in the underground history textbooks might be Elon Musk smoking weed on Joe Rogan’s podcast, but Exhibit B will probably consist of a recent photo of real world Jesse-Eisenberg-as-Lex-Luthor supervillain Mark Zuckerberg surfing with a full clown mask of make-up gooped onto his mug.
To be fair, as many have already pointed out, the Zuck was following protocol by slathering himself in sunblock while hanging ten. Still, that doesn’t stop the photo from being endlessly hilarious. Zuckerberg, butt bumped out behind him, looks like a baby bear sneaking into the trees with a pilfered honey jar or Bigfoot loping out of view on the Patterson-Gimlin tape. It’s an image so perfectly stupid that the internet’s found it impossible to resist.
If it feels petty to goof on a funny photo of the guy, just remember: Zuckerberg can, like a dorky Big Boss, build his own private nation of friendly supporters if anyone’s mean to him and, more importantly, is pissing off Hawaiians while trying to do a small version of just that in order to have a mansion home base for his surfing excursions. In light of this, it’s probably okay to enjoy an opportunity to make fun of such an obscenely rich and irresponsibly powerful person.
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