Although Clint Eastwood's recent appearance at the Republican National Convention seemed to be the actor's masterful theatrical interpretation of the Republican Party as an irritable old white man railing against imaginary enemies, it turns out that, actually, not all that much cohesive thought went into it. In his first post-convention conversation with real humans, Eastwood spurned the lamestream media and went straight to his hometown paper of the Carmel Pine Cone, where he revealed that his decision to add gravitas to the proceedings by pretending a chair told him to go fuck himself wasn't officially vetted by the Romney campaign or, in fact, really planned out at all.
"They vet most of the people, but I told them, ‘You can’t do that with me, because I don’t know what I’m going to say,'" Eastwood says, explaining that he was still thinking about what he might do when he "left San Jose Airport on a private jet headed for Florida," with the general idea for his remarks then only sketched out "after a quick nap" in his hotel room. Eastwood then says he arrived at the convention center about 15 minutes before he was supposed to go on—because he is a professional—and it wasn’t until he was safely ensconced in the green room, staring down all the furniture that wanted to fight him while a lone hawk screamed in the distance, that inspiration finally struck:
"There was a stool there, and some fella kept asking me if I wanted to sit down,” Eastwood said. “When I saw the stool sitting there, it gave me the idea. I’ll just put the stool out there and I’ll talk to Mr. Obama and ask him why he didn’t keep all of the promises he made to everybody.”
After a confused stagehand complied with his request while nervously neglecting to explain the difference between a "stool" and a "chair," Eastwood began his improvised takedown of all the promises he imagined that Obama had made to everybody, acknowledging that he then got so swept up in the moment that he went on for much longer than the convention might have liked or anyone who believes that arguments ought to have some factual basis might have thought possible. Nevertheless, Eastwood maintains that giving a "very unorthodox" speech was always his intent: "It was supposed to be a contrast with all the scripted speeches, because I’m Joe Citizen," concluded Eastwood, a rich and famous, Oscar-winning movie star and director who has also served as mayor, before returning via private jet to the palatial mansion where a reality show about his boyband-managing wife is being filmed, and which he shares with two of the seven children he's fathered with five different women. [via E!]