Kenneth Copeland’s been flexing his prosperity gospel grift for decades now, his unhinged gesticulations, signature roar, and claims of divine interaction having made him a superstar of the Christian right. But, hoo boy, this guy’s really come alive in the age of the coronavirus, as he’s made news both for his terrifying sermons, in which he bellows at COVID-19 as if it were a raccoon in his trash, and his controversial comments about how our “displays of hate” for Donald Trump, who he describes as a “king,” “opened the door” to the pandemic.
With broadcasts from Texas’ Victory Channel, which his church operates, going viral, online pranksters have taken to remixing his rants into absolute bangers. Of particular focus has been a sermon in which Copeland calls for both a “supernatural heatwave” to “burn this thing” and also a “wind of God,” which, in a moment no doubt indicative of Copeland’s mindset, he blows from his very own mouth. In the below remix, from YouTube channel WTFBrahh, his supporting band of Bible-toting sycophants serve as a fine backing choir.
WTFBrahh is also behind an excellent metal remix of another Copeland clip, in which the preacher demands COVID-19 “come down” and “crawl on your belly” before declaring America “healed.” (Considering the clip is a few weeks old, we regret to tell you it didn’t work.)
Copeland’s doom-laden words, it turns out, naturally lend themselves to the metal genre, as there’s several thundering remixes in that style. One of them even includes a cameo from Cardi B, whose own coronavirus rant got some remixes of its own.
But Copeland’s rhythmic, emphatic cadence also lends itself to the cathartic drops of EDM, and there’s also been a surplus of remixes designed to destruct your molly-riddled brains into clouds of white dust.
If that’s all a bit too, well, loud this morning—granted, Copeland knows no other volume—pianist Charles Cornell has put together a lighter, jauntier remix that sets Copeland’s words to some theater-friendly accompaniment.
More remixes, we imagine, are on the way, as Copeland, an obscenely wealthy con artist who owns three private jets and still demands his recently laid off parishioners give him money, is clearly going to milk this pandemic for every red cent he can.
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