Photo: Kevin Winter (Getty Images)

While Chris Evans may not ever wield Captain America’s shield again, the actor made sure to specify during an interview with The Hollywood Reporter that he has no plans to retire. “I never said the word ‘retire,’” Evans told THR. “It’s a really obnoxious notion for an actor to say they’re going to retire — it’s not something you retire from.” 

He also revealed that he has seen “like, the first hour” of the long-awaited Avengers: Endgame and is still surprised that Marvel even found a way to stitch together a trailer “because so much of it is a visual spoiler.” But before you rush off to watch and dissect the trailer for the umpteenth time, please take a moment to appreciate what is likely the most important nugget from the entire interview: Chris Evans would like to be in a musical. Actually, that might be a bit of an undersell.

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“I want to do a musical so badly, man,” Evans said. “Someone told me they’re [remaking] Little Shop of Horrors and I was like, ‘Oh, can I be down? Please? Can I be the dentist?’”

Can we submit the entirety of his performance as self-absorbed action star Lucas Lee in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World as his official audition for fuckboy-turned-medical professional, Orin Scrivello, D.D.S.? If it proves anything, it shows Evans’ uncanny handle on a thoroughly insufferable character. He even expressed an early interest in the Steven Spieldberg remake of West Side Story, a passion that his team quickly quelled: “I called my team and they were like, ‘Chris — maybe Krupke. You can’t. You’re too old.’ It’s so hard to hear.” 

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That’s fine. There will be other opportunities, and Hollywood needs stand to the side and let this objectively good thing happen.