Remember yesterday, when we all collectively shuddered as if someone had just walked across our grave? Well, turns out it wasn’t our graves being trampled, but that of late icon James Dean, who Hollywood now apparently plans to resurrect via CGI for some film about a soldier who nurses wounded Labrador dogs during the Vietnam War.
Yeah, it’s truly a bit of inspired casting. And by “inspired,” we mean by Mammon, who continues to whisper in the ears of weak-willed movie producers. While there’s undoubtedly a few souls interested in seeing an approximation of a man who’s been dead for over sixty years star in a movie about a global conflict he wasn’t even alive to see when it actually occurred, most of us are, you know, less than thrilled at the prospect. Apparently, the latter camp now includes actors Chris Evans and Elijah Wood, both of whom are no strangers to films consumed with CGI spectacle, so we should probably take their word on this.
“Maybe we can get a computer to paint us a new Picasso...The complete lack of understanding here is shameful,” tweeted our Captain America, with our dear Frodo Baggins cutting to the chase with a succinct “NOPE.”
Unfortunately—and we double-checked on this—there’s nothing in the rulebook that says you can’t resurrect dead pop cultural icons in a blatant cash grab sullying both said icon’s legacy and filmmaking in general, so we’re gonna have to just see how this whole thing plays out.