Gifted

If movies have taught us anything, it’s that every great romance has to hit a rough patch before really ascending to the next level of love. Every couple has to have a big fight or a break-up, because then they can eventually realize how much they love each other and one of them can barge into a New Year’s Eve party or whatever to make a huge speech. So, even though Us Weekly is reporting that Chris Evans and Jenny Slate have broken up, it doesn’t mean that their love story is over. Also, their relationship is very important to The A.V. Club, because it merges our love for superhero movies with our love for indie comedies, and we refuse to accept that they won’t still get married someday.

Us Weekly says this very small bump in the road was caused by their busy schedules, with “an insider” saying that it was a “completely amicable and a mutual decision” and that they “remain very close friends.” See? Nothing to worry about. In fact, don’t be surprised if you see Evans in full Captain America gear running out of a film set in the next few months so he can stop Slate from getting on a plane and leaving Los Angeles for an extended period of time.

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“You and I are in the movie Gifted together,” he’ll say as his eyes fill with tears, “but you’re the one who gifted me with this feeling of love.”

“I was in Parks And Recreation with Chris Pratt,” she’ll say, her heart all aflutter, “and soon you will be in an Avengers movie with Chris Pratt. For this reason and more, we should be together forever.”

Then they’ll kiss, everyone at the airport will cheer, and the credits will roll on another successful real-life romance.

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