Promising to make your stomach feel like the floor of a taxicab, Krispy Kreme has announced that it will celebrate the 30th anniversary of Ghostbusters by selling donuts haunted by marshmallow Kreme ™—that little trademark next to “Kreme” as horrifying as any free-floating, full-torso apparition. These donuts will come in one of two pre-chosen forms: The “Ghostbusters Donut” is topped with white icing, the Ghostbusters logo, and a Slimer-esque green “splat,” placed there by one of the focused, non-terminal, repeating phantasms at your local Krispy Kreme. The other is decorated with the face and jaunty sailor’s hat of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man—something you loved from your childhood that could never, ever possibly destroy you, unless you eat two or more. As ectoplasm is hard to come by, both donuts are filled with marshmallow, a substance that is as adept at fucking up a donut as it is Manhattan.
Choose and perish! Also, pre-order and perish, as customers can place their advance requests for “five dozen or more Ghostbusters donuts” between now and Sept. 29. They disappear completely by Oct. 31, leaving you awaiting the 30th anniversary of Ghostbusters II and Krispy Kreme’s Castle Of Pain, Throne Of Blood donuts, which will be filled with shards of glass (and marshmallow).