Taking another step in its efforts to no longer be the restaurant chain whose food conjures worries of old people puking and pooping themselves to death, Chipotle has just announced that it’s completed its two-year ”quest” to mass-produce an all-natural, preservative-free tortilla. And—owing to some deep-seated instinct that says you can’t market fast food to people in any but the most obnoxious of ways—it’s promoting this triumph of culinary authenticity with a cartoon of a rapping tortilla.
Get it? Because he’s a “wrapper”? The video’s right up there, so you can judge Torti The Tortillas various sins—rhyming “preservatives” and “cheap alternatives,” attempting to slam “calcium propianate” into his stilted, Will Smith-wannabe flow—for yourself. In any case, Chipotle’s now touting a menu that’s entirely preservative-free, which sounds like a pretty neat deal—at least as long as they agree that they won’t start playing Torti’s next mixtape on the speakers in their restaurants.