(Photo: Getty Images)

Not that it was ever really in question once it received the blessing of Chicago mayor/Sith Lord Rahm “Darth” Emanuel, but the Chicago Tribune brings word that the Chicago City Council has approved zoning plans for the Lucas Museum Of American Art, removing the final bureaucratic barrier to the realization of architect Ma Yansong’s vision of a nuclear power plant slowly melting in the Midwestern sun. Even better, construction of the museum will result in a net increase in tailgaiting spots for Chicago Bears fans, expanding the most wretched hive of hot dogs and villainy this side of Mos Eisley.

Previously, a ragtag group of rebels banded together in opposition to the Museum, arguing that the giant structure would “emasculate” and “degrade” the “already overburdened” Chicago lakefront. Those objections were supported by U.S. District Judge John Darrah, who ordered Chicago not to alter the proposed site of the museum until a verdict was reached in the group’s lawsuit against the city, a ruling that seems unnecessary until you realize this was the city that once bulldozed an airport in the middle of the night.


The lawsuit has yet to be settled—the next court hearing is set for November 10—but with the city merging its bureaucratic laser beams it will probably be vaporized quickly, because this is real life and not some silly space movie. Now that Lucas has passed his trial by rubber stamp and been given impunity over the Chicago lakefront, expect Jawas and Rontos to begin roaming Millennium Park sometime between the proposed ground breaking next spring and the opening of the Lucas Museum in 2019.