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Chef’s chocolate salty balls taste terrible

Screenshot: South Park

Way back in South Park’s second season, Isaac Hayes’ Chef laid down one hell of a catchy funk track while promoting his chocolate salty balls, a baked confection he’d love for you to put in your mouth and suck. A full version of the song produced by Rick Rubin actually became a hit single, but in addition to all the dirty jokes, it actually contains a recipe so you can make and suck on those balls at home. While the lyrics do totally seem like they’d produce something edible, anyone who has ever baked a thing in their life would probably take a look at the ingredients and realize there’s something off about it. That’s exactly what happened to Andrew Rea recreated the salty confection as part of his Binging With Babish video series.

For the first bake, he tried sticking as close to the song as feasibly possible, only making a major change when it came to the “bag or two of sugar” Chef calls for. What came out of the oven was neither a ball nor salty, but rather a cloyingly sweet, boozy flat cookie. But Rea wasn’t content to stop there in his quest to dig into some tasty balls. After a second version that made minor alterations to the original recipe, he struck out on his own and devised a much higher-end version of the chocolate salty balls, including some stringy chocolate curls for garnish, that you can make and suck on at home.


This episode being his South Park special, Rea also laid out recipes for Cartman’s Mr. And Mrs. Tenorman Chili, subbing pork shoulder and chorizo for the flesh of your bully’s parents, and Randy Marsh’s goat cheese and tomato fritata, topped with—what else—homemade crème fraîche.

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