Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Celebrity groundhog Punxsutawney Phil now supplements his seasonal income with Cameo

Illustration for article titled Celebrity groundhog Punxsutawney Phil now supplements his seasonal income with Cameo
Photo: Jeff Swensen/ Stringer (Getty Images)

Every February we see famous American groundhog Punxsutawney Phil shuffle sleepily into the limelight, basking in his few hours of fame. What we don’t see, though, is how Phil spends every moment of the year that isn’t Groundhog Day. How, we may ask ourselves, does Phil support himself—and possibly his entire groundhog family—on one day of work? Does he follow the path of other seasonal businesses and offer entirely different services when necessary? Does he have savings that allow him to live comfortably between gigs?

Well, however he kept afloat in the past, we know now that 2021 Phil has decided to shore up his earnings by starting a Cameo.

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For 80 entire U.S. dollars, Phil (described on his page as “the Seer of Seers, Prognosticator of all Prognosticators, the only true weather predicting groundhog”) will grace customers with a personalized video. In each of them, Phil is presented to viewers by an “Inner Circle” handler named A.J. Dereume, who has established a psychic link strong enough to let him verbalize groundhog chitter as English sentences.

In sample videos, Dereume, in his ceremonial top hat, stands in front of the camera to recite the message while holding Phil, who busily transmits brain signals while appearing to just absently sniff the air like an animate pin cushion. This kind of performance has warranted Phil eight five-star ratings so far.

Hopefully, with these glowing reviews coming in, the new Cameo business remains brisk enough to keep Phil solvent during the off-season. You can commission a bit of his time—and help him unseat The Office’s Kevin as top Cameo earner—by heading over to his profile page.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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