Cementing their roles as the Benedick and Beatrice of the Comic-Con set, Carrie Fisher has stoked the flame war recently launched by William Shatner, and made much more ado about the nothing that is the “Star Trek vs. Star Wars” debate, which they are just now having because these kids today pay far too much attention to Batman and Harry Potter. Fisher sent out her own distress signal via her personal YouTube channel, sitting down with the world’s largest highball glass (That's no cocktail—it's a space station! Like that thing they say in the movie!) and responding to Shatner’s assertion that the thing that gives him royalty checks is far better than the thing that gives her royalty checks. And not surprisingly, Fisher provides a rational, well-reasoned explanation that the longstanding divide is just a contrived rivalry intended to create more brand loyalty for two franchises that have seen better days.

Just kidding! She makes a lot of rambling Star Trek jokes like, “Klingon—it just sounds like a laundry detergent,” plus baffling pronouncements such as “to be syndicated is actually physically painful,” all while mocking the show’s special effects, merchandising, and even implicit political ties. (“I hear Cheney likes Star Trek.”) Adding more sparks to the crackling, crinkly sexual tension, Fisher mocks Shatner’s fantasy about Captain Kirk and Princess Leia “riding off into the sunset together” (“They couldn’t afford [sunsets] in their budget”), yet still, she also lingers on jokes about Shatner borrowing her famed metal bikini, says, “I want to see him in his clingy outfit again,” and then—while making fun of Shatner’s auctioning off of his kidney stone—says a line that would make for an excellent out-of-context audio loop, maybe backed by a house music beat: “Oh, is that out of William Shatner’s penis? Did it finally come out? Oh great.” Would these two crazy kids just do it already, by which we mean talk about anything else? [via EW]

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