For Marvel and Disney, Captain America: Civil War is the hugely expensive tentpole film that will pit ridiculously costumed weirdo against ridiculously costumed weirdo. But consider for a moment the plight of the average, non-superheroic citizen in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. These are good, decent people just trying to carry out their normal lives, and yet they have to deal with swarms of flying robots or whole cities being dropped from the sky. Every move they make is thwarted by bizarrely attired, highly destructive lunatics. Finally, these benighted people get the opportunity to tell their stories in Marvel’s Civil War - A Documentary By Ken Burns, a two-part parody series from the nerd comedy collective VStheUNIVERSE. Just like the original Burns Civil War series, this one employs mournful fiddle music, sepia photography, and first-person narratives. The only difference is that this version takes place in modern times and revolves around a conflict between Captain America and Iron Man.

The parody does not really take sides in the great Marvel conflict. Instead, it offers reasons to root against both of the major combatants. In the #TeamCap episode, interviewee Fin Coe talks about how Captain America unwittingly broke up his relationship with his long-time girlfriend during a long holdover on an airport tarmac. “Sarah says she’s always had more than a bit of a crush on Captain America, and maybe she was just settling for me,” Coe tearily testifies. “I never saw her again.”

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Over in the #TeamIronMan episode, Cody Melcher fares even worse. His husband was apparently collateral damage during the events of The Avengers: Age Of Ultron. “The entire city of Segovia was dropped on him,” an inconsolable Melcher says. “Iron Man had put him in the middle of the crater.”

So before Captain America: Civil War opens on May 6, fans can watch this documentary to determine which of these heroes they’re actively rooting against.

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