Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Call Archie a "simp" at your own peril, warns Archie Comics

Illustration for article titled Call Archie a simp at your own peril, warns Archie Comics
Photo: The CW

The term “simp” has really come into its own over the past year or so, probably because there are just so many examples out there. When it comes to the world of comic books, however, it’s pretty safe to say that Archie Andrews is, quite simply, the simpiest of the simps. But this isn’t something we thought of naturally. We realized it only after seeing this morning’s tweet from the official Archie Comics Twitter account, which made it clear they have some very stern words for all the hooligans out there in their comments sections.

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“Please stop writing ‘Archie is a simp’ in the comments of our YouTube videos. You will receive a permanent ban from our channel. Thank you,” they tweeted, which will surely put an end to this online harassment campaign once and for all. They then showed that they weren’t afraid who knew that they would continue to stand by their man, no matter what.

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Of course, it bears mentioning that there don’t seem to be any real comments on the Archie Comics’ YouTube channel calling Archie a simp, implying that maybe the people behind the Twitter account know more about social media virality than they’re letting on.

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Still, what’s done is done, and we have all been solemnly warned—do not, under any circumstances, start calling Archie a simp on social media.

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Send Great Job, Internet simps to gji@theonion.com

Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).

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