Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

We’re only a few days away from February 1, 2020. This means that a lot of us have already long given up any hope of maintaining our New Year’s Resolution to get our beach bodies in order before kicking off Democratic primary swimsuit season. Still, it’s not too late to try getting a head start one last time on what’s increasingly looking to be an inevitable post-Election Day binge of alcohol, fast food, and self-loathing.

So, if you’re willing to give it another go, then please join us in some morning calisthenics courtesy of this cheesy ‘80s aerobic workout montage set to Rob Zombie’s singular masterpiece, “Dragula.”


See, don’t you feel a bit better about yourself already? And, considering the fact that Rob Zombie has been a very, very vocal vegan for a good while now (since 1982 to be exact, as this Zombie-obsessed author notes), we’re sure he’d support your decision to better yourself with a little help from possibly the best song of all time. At this rate, you’ll go from feeling like a “Living Dead Girl” to “More Human Than Human” in no time!

If Rob Zombie’s not your thing, don’t worry, you have options. This clip already went viral some time ago with the help of Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off,” further cementing its place in the Meme Hall Of Fame.

Andrew Paul's work is recently featured by Rolling Stone, GQ, The Forward, and The Believer, as well as McSweeney's Internet Tendency and TNY's Daily Shouts.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter