Operating under the delusion that he’s still interesting after years of memoirs and having cameras record his every move, Bret Michaels is attempting to make a movie about his life. According to an interview he gave The Columbus Dispatch, the one-time Poison singer describes his existence as less of a rags-to-riches story than a “comedy of errors,” adding that he wants to turn it into a biopic that is not "too over-the-top."

The story would begin where Michaels’ began, in glamorous Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. It was there that a young, flaxen-haired Michaels overcame diabetes, learned to play guitar, and joined some rock bands, one of which would grow up to kind of, sort of change the world. True, Poison has sold 30 million albums to date, but it’s unclear where the story really goes from there, how much of a dramatic arc it really has, or if the film would expose what’s really under Michaels’ bandana.


It’s also unclear if this proposed movie would include the portions of his life that have already been made so public, like his years of awkward flirtations with drunken, tattooed twentysomethings on Rock Of Love, or the introduction of his heinous new line of "rock and roll" dog and cat products at PetSmart. But given that Michaels wants to illustrate “how to get through the kind of troubles that would leave most people flat on the floor,” one can only assume that time he got nailed by scenery at the Tony Awards will make the cut.