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Brangelina is now engaged, according to inanimate hunk of jewelry

Brad Pitt—seemingly bored with winning acting awards, saving New Orleans, and avoiding a haircut—has moved on to the next step: making an honest woman of his baby-mama, actor-writer-director Angelina Jolie. A rep for British jeweler Robert Procop took all the breathless mystery out of the rumored engagement by telling The Hollywood Reporter, “I can confirm that, yes, Robert Procop did indeed design an engagement ring for Angelina Jolie, designed in collaboration with Brad Pitt.” Procop already has a line of jewelry designed by Jolie herself, so yay for synergy. Procop followed up by elaborating:

“Brad had a specific vision for this ring, which he realized over a yearlong collaboration. He wanted every aspect of it to be perfect, so I was able to locate a diamond of the finest quality and cut it to an exact custom size and shape to suite Angelina’s hand. Brad was always heavily involved, overseeing every aspect of the creative design evolution. The side diamonds are specially cut to encircle her finger. Each diamond is of the highest gem quality.”


Procop didn’t comment on rumors that Pitt forged the ring in the fires of Hell after retrieving the necessary gold from the lair of Cthulhu, a journey that lasted more than two years and cost the lives of 12 brave souls who accompanied Pitt on his quest.

Pitt and Jolie have been together for almost seven years (give or take, depending on which issue of US Weekly you consult) and have six children together (three adopted, and three made the fun biological way). Jolie’s reps didn’t return a request for comment, and no one would confirm or deny that Pitt gave Jolie the ring case and started screaming, “What's in the box?!?

And still the mourning for the Pitt Ring Quest Twelve continues.

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