Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Bon Iver’s new video gives conspiracy theorist a whole lot to work with


Does a conspiracy still count as such if the would-be conspirators don’t really make much of an effort to disguise what they’re doing? How secret can a so-called “secret society” really be if its videos are trending on YouTube? These are the questions plaguing the host of the YouTube conspiracy theory series A Call For An Uprising as he examines Bon Iver’s new video, “33 ‘GOD.’” Despite its supposed references to scripture (it opens with a quote from Psalms 22), that video is a veritable showcase of satanic, Illuminati, and Masonic symbols, including an obelisk, lightning, a Masonic staircase, and the number 33. These offenses and more are cataloged in a eight-and-a-half-minute video entitled “YOU GOTTA SEE THIS! BON IVER 33 ‘GOD’ ILLUMINATI EXPOSED!” Bon Iver does not try to hide or disguise these blasphemous images in any way, A Call For An Uprising points out. At most, this could be an example of what’s called hiding in plain sight. The Illuminati is either getting bolder or lazier. Maybe a little of both.

Whether or not people are interested in satanism, conspiracies, Freemasons, or even Bon Iver, this is a mightily entertaining video nevertheless. What makes it great is that the narrator has never heard of Bon Iver and treats the Grammy-winning folk outfit with utter contempt. He makes a special point of consistently mispronouncing the band’s name as “Bahn EYE-ver” and theorizes that it must be a rip-off of Bon Jovi. He changes the “Bon” to “Booger” at least twice. At times, the righteous rant feels like a vintage Denis Leary routine, minus the profanity but with the impatience and indignation intact. “This is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen,” he grouses, pointing out how amateurish even the thumbnail is. Later in the video, he drops this bit of wisdom:

Really, YouTube? Really, Bon Iver? Gimme a break, Bon! You can take your 33 and your Masonic symbolism, and I’ll tell you where you can stick it! Okay? Where you can stick the obelisk, pal! It’s disgusting, disgraceful. Don’t listen to this stuff.


For those who want to risk their eternal souls, here’s the original, symbol-laden video.

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