In the wee small hours of the morning, while the whole wide world was fast asleep, John Stamos tweeted confirmation of what we all already feared deep in our bones—namely that Bob Saget will reprise his role as Danny Tanner on Fuller House, Netflix’s resurrected version of the ‘80s sitcom Full House.
— John Stamos (@JohnStamos) May 29, 2015
Saget’s summoning means the necromancers of multi-camera sitcoms have nearly finished reassembling the cabal who will usher in the apocalypse. In addition to reprising Uncle Jesse, the Horseman of Vested T-shirts, Stamos is a producer on Fuller House, which probably spares him from regrowing that sick mullet. David Coullier will be back as Uncle Joey, Horseman of Grating, Wholesome Yucks. Candace Cameron Bure returns as D.J., Horsewoman of Those Bangs, suffering the same tragic widowhood and single-parenthood that befell her father. She will be cared for by sister Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin), Horsewoman of Slighted Middle Children, and Kimmy (Andrea Barber) Horsewoman of Annoying BFFs. Lori Loughlin has been called forth to reprise Aunt Becky, Horsewoman of Relentlessly Perky Morning Show Hosts. And, as we just mentioned, Saget has been conjured from the void of dirty stand-up to again take physical form as Danny Tanner, the Horseman of (His Wife’s) Death.
And while the manifestation of Saget is a blow to Fuller House opponents, it does not guarantee victory for the forces who seek to reassemble the entire original main cast. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have escaped—at least for now—with the news that they will not again merge their consciousnesses to form the single entity Michelle Tanner, Horsebaby of “You got it, dude!”