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Blimey! Michael Caine and Lena Headey to star in a gender-bending Oliver Twist

Photo: Jeff Spicer (Getty Images)

Oi! Gather ’round now ye little rapscallions ’cause Variety has some right proper good news for ya: Extremely British actors Michael Caine and Lena Headey are set to star in Twist, a modern-day gender-bending version of Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist, innit? Quite right! Rita Ora will also star in the updated adaptation alongside Jude Law’s son Raff Law, who will play the title role of Oliver—reimagined as a “streetwise artist” in London. Ora will take on the role of Dodge, so-called because she’s a bit dodgy, innit she? Dodge is a charming grifter who recruits Oliver for an ill-advised heist involving a priceless work of art, which they are to deliver to the hands of master thief Fagin, played by Michael Caine (in jolly old London town it’s pronounced “My Cocaine,” innit?). Bollocks! If he’s such a master thief, why’s he commissioning a bunch of street urchins to do his dirty work? He’s off his trolley, that one. Yeah, baby! 

But Oliver & Company (yeah, at’s right!), run afoul of Fagin’s dangerous partner Sikes, played by professional evil British person Lena Headey, whom you may know for her roles as evil wino incest queen in Game Of Thrones and that drug-dealing Momo lady in Dredd. Martin Owen will direct Twist for Sky, which will release the film day-and-date in theaters and on its pay TV service, and Bob’s your uncle, pip pip cheerio!

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