According to a report by the Associated Press, a Hollywood, Florida judge has ruled against misunderstood entrepreneur and infamous arcade-game champion Billy Mitchell, throwing out his lawsuit against Cartoon Network. Mitchell’s lawsuit alleged that the character of Garrett Bobby Ferguson as seen on the network’s Regular Show exaggerated his traits to appear “cartoonishly evil,” while anyone who has seen The King Of Kong would argue that Mitchell is just a regular kind of evil.
“The television character does not match the plaintiff in appearance,” Judge Anne Thompson said of the Garrett Bobby Ferguson, a character who cheats to win at an arcade game. “GBF appears as a non-human creature, a giant floating head with no body from outer space, while Plaintiff is a human being.” Mitchell is known for his usual wardrobe, consisting of black pants, a black shirt, and American flag tie; a bad haircut and beard is not enough to quantify a resemblance, apparently. (After all, plenty of nerds sport the same look, with a bonus trilby.)
“When Garret Bobby Ferguson loses his title,” Thompson continued—presumably while thinking to herself, “why am I mediating a frivolous lawsuit between the makers of a cartoon for stoners and some stroke who sells hot sauce?”—“the character literally explodes, unlike Plaintiff.”
Billy Mitchell was last seen peddling his brand in a documentary chronicling a new chapter in the Twin Galaxies saga, the upcoming Man Vs. Snake: The Long And Twisted Tale Of Nibbler.