Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Billionaire asshole plays Gilligan's Island theme song on loop to annoy his neighbor

Illustration for article titled Billionaire asshole plays iGilligans Island/i theme song on loop to annoy his neighbor
Screenshot: TeeVees Greatest

The rich are once again fighting among themselves. While the power struggles of society’s elite usually results in increased misery for those below them, though, this time, we’re happy to report, it’s only a couple of Laguna Beach jerks going to war with one another with classic TV theme songs in a dispute over lawn decorations.

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The Los Angeles Times reports that the argument began with protective netting being placed over “a 22-foot-long blue glass [outdoor art] installation” by billionaire “bond king” Bill Gross and his partner Amy Schwartz. After complaints from their neighbors, it’s now escalated into Gross and Schwartz allegedly blaring Gilligan’s Island’s “theme song on a loop at all hours” to tactically annoy their way into keeping the sculpture in place.

The neighbors, “tech entrepreneur Mark Towfiq and his wife, [Carol Nakahara]” were angry enough about Gross and Schwartz’s outdoor sculpture that they filed a lawsuit. (As you do, when a neighbor has lawn art you don’t like.) The most interesting part of the suit is the detail that Gross and Schwartz are also accused of “playing blaring music at all hours, including the Gilligan’s Island theme song, rap and pop, in an effort to force him to drop the complaint.” Towfiq was granted a restraining order, in part thanks to evidence like a text alleged to have been sent by Gross that reads, “Peace on all fronts or well [sic] just have nightly concerts big boy.”

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In return, Gross and Schwartz filed their own lawsuit that says Towfiq is obsessed with them. They accuse him of “installing cameras directed at their property and ‘peeping tom behaviors’” as well as having, according to the suit, “a particular fascination not only with Mr. Gross but also Ms. Schwartz, particularly when the pair are swimming and thus wearing minimal, if any, clothing.” Adding to this, Schwartz says the contested sculptures’ blue pieces are “like my babies” and that she and her “mother, who has Alzheimer’s... pray to them and she enjoys looking at them because it’s her favorite color and makes her smile.”

The Los Angeles Times also reports that this isn’t Gross’ first time getting into trouble for resolving his personal differences in... creative ways. Ex-wife Sue Gross once accused him of “turning over a separate Laguna Beach home to her in ‘utter chaos and disrepair,’ including infusing it with puke and fart smells dispensed from spray bottles.”

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Presumably, in the time since, Gross has finished watching The Sopranos and found inspiration that moves beyond fart sprays.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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