While the title of this article might sound like pandemic Mad Libs, TV is essentially just that anyway at this point. Plus, anything involving Bill Murray is going to be at least interesting, so the home alone version of Jimmy Fallon’s Tonight Show cooking segment had that going for it. Which is nice. On a three-person video call with a comfily seated Murray and a typically gesticulating Guy Fieri, Fallon dutifully followed orders in the tradition of late show hosts everywhere, as the spiky-haired food celebrity walked him through the oh-so-complex procedure of piling crap on top of tortilla chips and making it hot.
As with so many of these late-night appearances since the COVID-19 shutdown began, the whole segment was technically in service of charity, in this case, the Restaurant Employee Relief Fund, which is handing out grants to restauranteurs, servers, and other food service workers whose livelihood has been imperiled by the fact that everyone’s stuck at home piling crap on top of tortilla chips. Speaking of piling crap, Fallon, with Fieri’s help, busied himself in making the pandemic classic—nachos á la stuff you still have in your fridge/cupboard. Of course, Fieri had sent Fallon some ringer ingredients in preparation—Murray deadpanned about everyone having nopales just kicking around the house—making the whole process a skosh more complicated than usual. Although, you know, not that much—this is Fieri we’re talking about—and the whole tray of melted cheesy goodness looked about as disreputably tasty as your average after-hours drunk snack.
Thankfully, Bill Murray was on hand, lobbing faux-serious questions about the whole process. “Wait, let me get a pencil,” he said seriously, once Fieri outlined the all-important opening step of lining a pan with chips. And after Fallon broke out his dwindling supply of freezer-Jägermeister, Murray, happily swilling from a ready bottle of what appeared to be a fine red wine, noted sagely, “It’s nice to set a layer of Jäger down before you get those nachos in.” As a finishing touch, and not to be outdone, Murray then ordered his companions to follow him in doing straight shots of their chosen hot sauce before digging in (eat that, Hot Ones), with Murray leading the way with his favorite topper (“Something with a hat on it”). Fallon noted with some trepidation that he had one of those hot sauces with the funny-scary names (“Puckerbutt,” in this case), with Murray advising sadly that that’s all that’s in your fridge when “you marry into that family.” To be fair, in the end, Fallon ended up with some delicious-looking crap piled on top of chips.