Screenshot: YouTube

PROLOGUE

Two movies, quite unlike in dignity,
In fair box office grosses, where we lay our scene,
From ancient Judge Dredd, which bombed two years past ’93,
To Alex Garland’s ass-kicking version, which made no money.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A group of star-cross’d movie fans stake their sequel-clamoring hope;
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their efforts bury their dream—in a word, nope.

The fearful passage of their death-mark’d campaign,
And the obvious evidence of their movies’ lack of profit,
Which, but for more people giving a shit, nought could remove,
Is now the six minutes’ traffic of this video by YouTuber Rossatron, as he saw fit;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, his toil shall strive to mend.

SCENE

EPILOGUE

For never was a story of more woe
than this of Karl Urban and his Dredd sequel, yo.

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Exeunt.

[Full disclosure: The author of this adapted Shakespearean verse has been a member of the Bring Back Dredd Facebook group since 2013.]