Comedian, writer, and radio show host Dave Hill is no stranger to music. He has been the frontman for groups like Sons Of Elvis, Cobra Verde, and his current band Valley Lodge. But there is one area in which this otherwise Renaissance man has always been lacking: Hill is severely deficient in being a badass metal icon. Sure, he has suffered through some of the worst potato chips and disgusting cookies put on this planet, but such painful endurance does not a heavy metal god make. And so, for that, he has turned to Philip H. Anselmo of Pantera, amongst other gnarly metal bands, to guide him on his quest and teach him The Way.

Unfortunately, Dave Hill is a bit of a wuss and simply cannot hang with Anselmo’s teachings and various exercises in becoming more extreme. Fortunately, though, the whole epic journey is recorded in their web series Metal Grasshopper. Watch as Dave Hill almost throws up from smoking cigarettes in order to achieve the perfect guttural growl! Thrill as he struggles to determine whether or not a butterfly is metal! Be amazed as he barely clears a burning rope pentagram with what appears to be a skipping motion! In the latest episode, “Unscared,” Anselmo works on Hill’s stage presence, the metal padawan takes messages from King Diamond, and the powers of corpse paint are put to their ultimate test when applied to Dave’s adorable punim.

That fourth episode is below and the rest can be found on this page. Fair warning: This is a show about metal shredding a sensitive man’s soul, so there’s some NSFW language involved.

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