Buying John Updike’s typewriter or Harlan Ellison’s tooth-scarred and twisted-in-rage screenplays is rather pedestrian, as literati curios go. Why not stop being such a phony and get a real conversation starter like J.D. Salinger’s “personally owned” toilet, which is currently being auctioned on eBay for the Buy It Now price of $1 million? As the description states, “This is the toilet that was personally owned and used by J.D. Salinger for many years” while he was holed up in his Cornish, New Hampshire home. Knowing what a recluse Salinger was, you can only imagine the amount of action this toilet has seen—or, in the words of the seller, “Who knows how many stories were thought up and written while Salinger sat on this throne?” Indeed. Although this toilet was manufactured after Salinger had published most of his work, there is no telling how many amazing, unpublished stories Salinger composed here, then crumpled up and bitterly flushed down said toilet to keep them away from the prying, plebeian eyes of his public. Even better, “It will come to you uncleaned” in order to preserve any last lingering trace of his genius. Seeing as Salinger went to such frustrating lengths to protect his privacy, this is pretty much the best way you could piss all over that. [via Buzzfeed]

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