Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Now that Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice is certifiably critic-proof, nothing can stop Zack Snyder from co-opting some national monument or another to serve as the base for his monomaniacal quest to conquer the world through bloated, self-serious blockbusters. He’s probably spray-painting the initials “ZS” on the Lincoln Memorial as we speak. And as part of his scheme to make people keep giving him money to watch movies they aren’t even enjoying very much, the director/budding supervillain has masterminded a bigger, grimmer, probably dumber, and even fucking longer “Ultimate Cut” Blu-ray of the film.

Forbes has the details on the so-called “Ultimate Cut,” thus named to win over reluctant viewers who thought the hyper-macho spectacle could have been more like a Hydroxycut ad, honestly. Naturally, it will be a full half hour longer than the 155-minute theatrical version, which could potentially result in some of the character motivations actually making sense. But that’s not Snyder’s MO. Instead—if the first deleted scene from the film, released today, is any indication—the film’s already murky waters will be muddied even further.


Oh, and it’ll be rated “R,” obviously. Forbes coyly promises “additional footage of violence and carnage, and maybe even some brief nudity.” (We’re putting our money on that nudity coming from Affleck, maybe during the inevitable extended version of his Bat-workout scene.) Yep, this thing’ll be grittier than unwashed oysters floating in a jar of pickle juice, and, save for those lucky few who actually like the taste, about as easy to swallow.

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