Apparently, there’s a bunch of people out there impersonating Gene Simmons. We have no clue why they’d want to, given the way he has spent the past several decades convincing the world that he is a sentient STD, but he’s goddamned sick of it.
He’s got no problem with this adorable baby calf, however, who entered into this world a spitting image of the KISS frontman, from the way its colors mirror Simmons’ signature makeup to the presence of its long, lolling tongue to the texture of its coarse, black fur. Born on a ranch in Kerville, Texas, the calf has been named Genie.
According to the above Facebook post, Genie will be made a “mascot” of the steakhouse where the ranch’s owner works. There, it will presumably bring joy and amusement to the local diners as its namesake continues to defend racists, shit-talk the dead, and descend even deeper into irrelevance.
As for now, Simmons is amused.
But how long before he sues this thing back into its mother’s womb?