Yesterday we completely ignored the news that Audrina Patridge—former Hills cipher, recently shrugged-off Dancing With The Stars contestant, dead-eyed lady of the lowlands—would be getting her very own VH1 reality show because a) It’s Audrina Patridge, a distinctly 21st-century anomaly that no one should be encouraging; 2) it’s VH1, who gives away reality shows as door prizes, from what we can tell; and lastly) The show will follow Patridge’s attempts to become, like Flavor Of Love’s New York before her, a “serious actress,” which just seems like a cruel act of enabling. But now we may have to rethink our position if the show includes Patridge’s mom, Lynn. Here’s Patridge’s proud, proudly drunk mother talking candidly about her “hot, classy” daughter—who’s “Polish-Catholic, full-on Italian, and she was raised right”—and how’s she’s gonna “rise,” even if it means taking on Hills star Lauren Conrad (whom Lynn describes as a “pissy little fashion shit”). As Lynn says repeatedly, to the dismay of her friend (who is familiar with the Internet, and thus tries to get Lynn to shut up), Lynn “doesn’t give a shit.” Indeed. If Lynn’s in every episode, we’re there. "Happy America," everyone.