Screenshot: Match.com

Last year, we told you about Romeo, a Sehuencas water frog whose utter inability to get laid threatened to spell the end of his entire species. Today, however, hope has reared its slimy, bug-eyed head: Romeo has a girlfriend.

Found in a Bolivian cloud forest approximately 10 years ago, experts feared that Romeo was the last frog of his kind. Since Sehuencas water frogs live to be about 15 years old, herpetologists were concerned Romeo would never get it on with anyone, and his species would be no more. An expedition earlier this year to the same cloud forest where Romeo was discovered, however, yielded an amazing find: five more Sehuencas water frogs, two of whom are female, and one of whom just might be catching feelings for Romeo. After clearing her for potential parasites, the female frog, Juliet, moved into Romeo’s tank, and Romeo, the horny old bastard, made his first mating call since 2017.

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“Romeo has been really sweet to Juliet, following her around the aquarium and sacrificing his worm meals for her,” said the museum’s chief herpetologist Teresa Camacho Badani.

Make no mistake: this frog is ready to fuck.

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Before meeting Juliet, Romeo’s situation was so pathetic that scientists at Bolivia’s Museo de Historia Natural Alcide d’Orbigny even created a Match.com profile for Romeo. “I tend to keep to myself and have the best nights just chilling at home, maybe binge-watching the waters around me,” Romeo’s profile read. “I do love food, though, and will throw a pair of pants on and get out of the house if there’s a worm or snail to be eaten!”

The awkward online dating phase of Romeo’s life is now over, and the Global Wildlife Conservation have set up a donation page where those who want to throw Romeo a few bucks to help celebrate him finally getting some action can do so. There are more hurdles to overcome, after all, namely that Romeo is still a big-time virgin who doesn’t have any clue what he’s doing between the sheets. Frogs, you see, do the nasty via a process called amplexus, a position in which the male frog holds the female until he can fertilize her eggs as she lays them. For some frogs, amplexus takes weeks or even months. So far, the longest Romeo has lasted is 15 minutes.

Don’t worry, Romeo, it happens to lots of frogs.

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