Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

As far as we can tell, and based on this trailer, The Iron Mask has nothing to do with that Leonardo DiCaprio movie from the ’90s. It is, however, the kind of movie that has something for everyone—and a whole lot of it. Arnold Schwarzenegger is a mustachioed bad guy of vague European descent (Russia...?). Jackie Chan has long, glorious silver hair and ridicules Schwarzenegger, who yells things like “IT’S THE TOWAH!” and we’re supposed to understand that this tower is very important. Also Jason Flemyng is there, and he’s a cartographer, or so the official synopsis tells us. Charles Dance is involved because this is a movie that checks all his boxes: period, British, wacky fantasy with dragons and shit, and Schwarzenegger. (Wait. Is this actually one of the movies from Last Action Hero?)

What else... Oh, and the late Rutger Hauer is in this, which makes it slightly more imperative. To be fair, what’s not imperative about a high-fantasy action film set in the 18th century in Russia and China and starring both Jackie Chan and Arnold Schwarzenegger and also “black magic wizardry and a dragon king”? Unfortunately, there does not yet appear to be a U.S. release date for this masterpiece, but it will hit U.K. cinemas and digital platforms on April 10. Here, enjoy this synopsis:

The Iron Mask sees action legends Jackie Chan and Arnold Schwarzenegger team up in a high concept fantasy historical epic featuring breath-taking fights and stunning visuals. Set in the 18th century, The Iron Mask follows English traveller Jonathan Green as he journeys from Russia to China encountering dragons, black magic wizardry and a dragon king during an incredible but deadly adventure. The action adventure also stars Charles Dance, Jason Flemyng and Rutger Hauer.

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