Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Ariana Grande has retired from dating

Photo: Handout (Getty Images)

For all its pain, heartbreak tends to inspire growth, self-reflection, and, as innumerable ballads have demonstrated, creativity. That’s certainly the case for Ariana Grande, who channeled a litany of lost loves—including her latest beau, SNL’s Pete Davidson—into “Thank U, Next,” her most ubiquitous single yet.

Unsurprisingly, the tabloids are waiting with bated breath for the next guy to grace Grande’s arm. If the pop starlet is to be believed, however, they’re going to be waiting a while. Yesterday, Grande tweeted out a response to a screenshot of an Elite Daily graphic shouting about who “Ariana Grande is dating NOW?!” by asking if they could also fill her in on the answer.


In a follow-up tweet, she shared a “spoiler for the rest of year / probably my life.” “It’s no one,” she wrote. “Please refer back to this tweet for further questions.”

While there’s likely no 25-year old on Earth who hasn’t made a similar declaration in the wake of a breakup, things are, well, a bit different for Grande. Not only has the Davidson fallout been particularly tumultuous, but 2018 also saw the tragic death of Mac Miller, who Grande dated for several years. In the wake of Miller’s death, her social media mentions were filled with bilious comments blaming her for his demise.


Besides, who needs a boyfriend when you’ve got Piggy Smalls?

Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.

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