Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Appreciate the majesty of nature as this clam squirts shit all over the place

Screenshot: The Weather Channel

There are a lot of wonderful things on this planet, especially in the rich, still vastly unexplored ecosystems of our oceans. They are also disgusting. Down where it’s wetter, the animals can freely do whatever they wish, including, but not limited to: looking like hideous submarines made out of teeth; grabbing each other in a death grip as they sink to the ocean floor; and literally ripping open another fish’s stomach to suck other fish out of it. Cue Thom Yorke moaning about how “the big fish eat the little ones” ad infinitum.

Things get even worse when those ocean monsters crawl onto land. Here, for example, is a clam, looking like a grimacing Muppet with flippers sticking out of its mouth as it slowly, suggestively wriggles into the sand, then squirts some monstrous effusion all over the place. Please enjoy the wonders of nature:

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